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REMEMBER WHEN?

Posted by TreSart L Sioux on December 4, 2010 at 5:08 PM

REMEMBER WHEN?

by TreSart L Sioux

 

 

Do you remember when those really low-budget campy horror films were actually good? I absolutely love most of them. There was just something about these films that were fun to watch. The bad acting with the awful effects were just the icing on the cake. Below I discuss two of my favorites, but trust me, I have so many more that are proudly displayed in my collection.

 

MICROWAVE MASSACRE (1983)

This movie was so bad it was good! When a construction worker by the name of Donald is not to pleased with his wife's gourmet cooking, he decides to become his own personal chef. Once she is out of the way, his desires for an assortment of meat that is cooked in the microwave makes this one hell of a cannibalistic treat!

 

Jackie Vernon who plays Donald was perfect for this part! Vernon was actually known for his comedy and opened up for Judy Garland and was a regular on the Merv Griffin show as well as many others. Despite his raw reputation, he is best known for his voice as the title character in Frosty the Snowman, which has been airing since 1969.

 

Microwave Massacre brought back Vernon's sinister side. There are so many classic lines in this movie by him.

 

When preparing to cut off a prostitute's head with an axe.

"I'm so hungry, I could eat a whore!"

 

"Well, the only problem is, I can't make love to a woman, unless I eat her."

 

These are only a couple that I've shared. The movie is completely filled with fantastic lines!

 

As usual, there is tons of nudity and odd sexual situations, but it's a true classic to watch. Oh, and be sure to finish it out until the final credits. There is a message saying: Remember, dismember a friend for lunch!

 

REDNECK ZOMBIES (1987)

It's no hidden secret that Troma has released some of the best movies ever! The Toxic Avenger, Class of Nuke 'Em High, Chopper Chicks in Zombietown and I could go on! However, one of my favorites next to these will have to be Redneck Zombies also known as Redneck County Rape.

 

With an estimated budget of $10,000, this creation is notable for being one of the first films shot entirely on videotape and then released to the home video market.

 

When a barrel of radioactive waste is found in the woods by some rednecks, they decide to add it to their still. Of course they want to share their moonshine with all the local hicks. You don't have to be a brain surgeon to figure out what happens next! These kinfolk will spit out their tobacco and take a bite out of anyone that gets in their way!

 

Now, where are earth would we be without the city folks that are vacationing and manage to get lost in the woods? They try their best to survive during the bloody rampage.

 

Redneck Zombies is a film that nobody is off limits. It's crude and rude and you have to love the scene where a mother puts her baby in the washer and gives it a bottle full of the toxic moonshine. What do we have next? A zombie baby!

 

The gore is more extreme in this movie than some of the past. They play homage to movies like, Day of the Dead, The Wizard of Oz, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Deliverance and even the Three Stooges.

 

Troma movies have always and will always be known for their bad acting, plenty of boobs and bad effects, but there is something about them that is pure entertainment.

 

So, those are my two picks of the week. I realize they aren't pure horror, but sometimes you have to give credit to those enjoyable campy flicks!

 

Until next week!

 

TreSart L Sioux

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